Sunday, November 12, 2006

You're a defective, ill-favoured, scurvy, greasy, lily-liver'd, bed-swerver.

A couple of Christmases ago I received a Shakespearean Swear Box. Loved the idea. Takes the concept of magnetic poetry on fridges and makes it rude. "These sixty magnetic words, all specially selected from the works of the Bard of Avon, Mr. William Shakespeare, allow you to compose millions of different curses, insults, and oaths."

After packing the SSB and keeping it packed for two moves in five months, I recently came across it and opened it for the first time. We are encouraged to "start each day with a new description of your boss, or let a loved one know just how much you appreciate them the morning after". The day after I randomly scattered all sixty words onto the fridge, I found that Biscotti had created the subject heading seen above - thanks, love!

Your task: insult me! Click on our fridge, take a few minutes to ponder each word, then spark the glow with your meticulously crafted insult. C'mon people, see if you can make me cry...


Anonymous said...

You’re a gross, foining, reeking, pernicious, logger-headed, slimy flap-dragon.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.

Anonymous said...

I looked up some of the words, and it turned out that what I called you made no sense.

Take #2:

You’re a gross, reeking, pernicious, logger-headed, slimy courtesan.

Take that.

jblueafterglow said...

your first one was alright, the slight sting i felt was offset by your misplaced apology (no apologies allowed!)

your second one hurt. especially with the after-jab, "Take that". still stinging.

the magnets came with a sheet of translations, but posting it would've been too much work, so i didn't.

check out what kelly's been working on: Surrey Indians - it's a beaut.

Anonymous said...

That site is a beauty.

On a seperate but related note, it seems that I led the team in sacrifice flies this year. In light of this, I feel a little cheated over the MVP vote. I don't think that the sacrifice fly department was given sufficient weight.