Evolution of Dance

This is fantastique. After you click the picture-link, click the second size option at the bottom right of the video screen. And have your speakers on.

Stanley Park w/o Our Dogs

Yesterday Biscotti and I walked the seawall in less than two hours. My not-used-to-that-amount-of-prolonged-exercise legs are still recovering.

We were sans canines, as they have recently been fixed and are under strict R&R orders. We have now had the little mongrels for just over four months. One of these pictures is from December 31st, their very first day with us. The other was taken March 29th. Can you guess which is which? Good for you. What do you want, a prize or something?

Our little puppies are getting all grow'd up... Click a pic to enlarge that pic.

Rabbit Joke for "E"aster

An Easter joke for you folks. Yes, it's a little late.
Let's say it's in memory of the recent Easter.

A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe, my friend, why do you do this? Come with me running through the forest; you'll see, you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.

Then they come across an elephant doing coke. The rabbit again says, "Elephant, my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest; you'll see, you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his cocaine, then tosses it and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.

The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up. "Lion, my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come running with us through the sunny forest; you will feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and beats the shit out of the little rabbit.

As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they ask, "Lion, why are you doing this? He was merely trying to help us all!" The lion answers, "That little fucker makes me run around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he's on ecstasy!"

Beautiful British Columbia Bye-Bye

The very reason that people move here is vanishing as more people move here. It's beautiful British Columbia. We have mountains, we have ocean, we have rivers, we have densely forested parks, and that's just in the Greater Vancouver Regional District.

Because of the beauty, people want to move here. People want to visit here. The area tries to accomodate these people. The housing goes further up the mountains, losing the trees that made it pretty. When I was quite young, my family lived right next to a half-block of undeveloped area right off West Fourth in Vancouver; behind where Capers is now. I have fond memories of playing in an overgrown field, picking dandelions with a neighbor friend to bring back to my mom. We moved out of there when I was around 5 or so. It wasn't long after that that apartments were built where the field used to be.

There is a hiking trail that I've done a few times in my life, and it is now under attack. West Vancouver's Eagleridge Bluffs is being harmed in the name of highway expansion for the Olympics. Where does this fit in to the government's promise of the greenest Olympics ever? With this, and with the Port Mann fiasco, B.C. Transportation Minister Kevin Falcon is vying for the position of jblue's enemy number one. Currently ahead of Falcon are David Emerson and Father Ponti. Falcon nudges ahead of Todd Bertuzzi.

Anyway, I would like to join the protestors at Eagleridge, but am unable to do so. I applaud their efforts and hope that it is not in vain.

They paved paradise and put up a parking lot

Barry Bonds

The following article can be found in full at The Brushback.com

Make-A-Wish Foundation Asked To Punch Barry Bonds In The Nuts

AMES, IA -- Members of the Make-A-Wish Foundation struggled to come up with a response to a dying 9-year-old boy’s request that they punch slugger Barry Bonds in the nuts repeatedly. The boy, Danny Wickman of Ames, Iowa, reportedly hates Bonds and wants nothing more than to see him in debilitating pain. The director of the foundation said that it was the first such request that he had ever received.

“That’s a first. Obviously the kid really hates Barry Bonds, as a lot of people do, but I don’t know if we can comply with his request,” said Charles Hopkinton, managing director of Make-A-Wish. “We’ll have to call Barry and see if he’s OK with it. I mean, it is his dying wish, so we should do everything we can to make it happen. What really strikes me though, is the fact that he [Danny] isn’t even interested in doing it himself. He's happy just to watch someone else do it. Now that’s hatred.”

Wickman has been diagnosed with tuberculosis and is expected to live another six months. Upon hearing about his condition through a mutual friend, Hopkinton immediately met little Danny to set him up with the foundation. After mulling over his wish, Danny decided it would be fun to watch his least favorite ball player get punched in the nuts.

Mary Wickman, Danny’s mother, said her son has always had a deep, seething resentment towards Bonds.

“[Danny] is not some stupid kid who blindly worships athletes. He only roots for guys who are good people. He’s heard enough Bonds interviews, as we all have, to know that the guy is an arrogant, selfish prick. I’m sure a lot of people in America would love to see the guy gets his nuts rammed with a sledgehammer. I know I would.”

Hopkinton has been trying to come up with a way to present the idea to Bonds. He does not expect the slugger to agree to have his testicles punched, but he may agree to make an appearance with young Danny, at which point they could ambush him.

“As bad as it may sound, we might have to trick him into showing up, then just sneak in a few quick cock-punches so Danny can get his wish. After that, we might have to run like hell, but this is a kid’s dying wish. We can’t say no. And frankly, we don’t want to.”

“I know this guy doesn’t do autographs and things like that,” said Hopkinton. “I know he has a track record of turning down charity causes. I know because one time I asked him to send a sick kid a signed 8 x 10 and he said no. He just had to sign it and send it out. He said he was ‘too busy.’ Then I told him that he could just have his secretary sign it and send it out, and the kid wouldn’t even know any better. He said ‘Nah, she’s too busy.’ Then I asked him to just turn his head slightly and look in the direction of the young boy, who was sitting behind the dugout. He just said ‘Nah. Got a sore neck.’ That’s why, if we can pull this off, I’ll be the first in line to smack him.”

While most sick children request time with athletes they admire, Wickman said he'll be perfectly content to see an athlete he does not admire suffer greatly. When asked why he had such antipathy for the hall-of-fame slugger, young Danny answered with his usual candor.

“Why do I hate Barry Bonds? There’s no specific reason. I just think he’s a dick,” said Wickman. “He’s so conceited and he thinks he’s better than everyone else and he’s sits there in that stupid reclining chair in the clubhouse like he’s the king of the world or something. Having this disease really sucks, but I swear I’ll die happy if someone punches Barry in the nuts. It’s easy. All they have to do is get a press pass to go into the Giants locker room after a game, pretend they're a reporter, and give him a couple quick punches. That’s all it takes to really hurt someone. Is that too much to ask, Mr. Hopkinton? Don’t you want to make a dying boy happy?”

At the top of the page: July 6, 2004
At the bottom of the page: Copyright 2003
Does this mean it's fake? Irregardless, I love it. If anyone can find any other info about it, please let me know. Kudos to Mattias for sending me the link. Why didn't you put it up on your blog?

-----------------------------------

In a recent Sports Illustrated, a letter writer suggested the following measures for Bonds: Starting with his first at-bat of the season, every opposing team should intentionally walk him every time he's up. They should keep this up until he is shamed into leaving the game of baseball for good. What a great idea. If only it was suggested with more advance warning.

Wedding Prep Classes

Biscotti and I have completed two thirds of our wedding preparation classes. Thus far, it's been far less useful than I thought it would be, than it could be, than it ought to be.

Some things from today's class...

One presenting couple, married several years, cited some statistics regarding divorce rates. Divorce rate is 1 in 2. Among couples that attend church regularly, divorce rate is 1 in 5. Among couples that pray every day, divorce rate is 1 in 1000. (I don't know exactly where they got these statistics. They mentioned a few sources, including Reader's Digest. Hardly scientific.) The female of the couple ended their presentation by encouraging us to try to be the 1 in 1000. Huh? The 1 in 1000 is what we're trying not to be. We want to be one of the 999. Hmm, truth be told, we actually want to be the one of the 1 in the first stat. (You know, the good one.)

Before the wedding day: laid-back (positive characteristic)
After the wedding day: laziness (negative characteristic)

Seating at the classes is theatre style, with minimal interaction between couples-in-training. Everyone is attempting to have an air of sophistication; behaving good and proper. Sitting in the front row last Saturday and today was a guy in a Leaf's hat. One presenting couple talked of meeting each other many years ago while studying at U of T, then motioned towards the aforementioned guy and said, "Go Leafs." Without hesitation, the room of 100+ began booing. It was great.

Really? That one too? Surprising.

Watching hockey games on TV can be excruciating. And I'm a big hockey fan. The new rules this season have been great and the battle for the playoffs is tight. The recent Canucks-Oilers mini-series was fantastic.

The problem? The commentators. I have many pet peeves about the commentators, but one tops the list. After a goal, there is a very good chance that you will hear the following words: "That is a goal that [the beaten goaltender] will want to have back." It may be right away, or it may be after a replay or two, but it is said far too often. Yes, we get it, the primary job of all goaltenders is to not let in any goals, so, of course, they would like to have all goals they let in back. How about during your pregame keys of the game segment, you make a blanket statement: "Now, for this entire game, you can be sure that all goals let in will be wanted back by the guilty goaltender."

Last night. Canucks vs. Oilers. Naslund takes a rare slapshot from the point and Morrison backhands in what appears to be a rebound. However, we see several replays from different angles, and it is very clear, very obvious, that Morrison stopped the puck before it reached the goaltender, pulled it to his backhand and scored. That doesn't stop one of the all-talk no-substance talking heads from remarking, right after the several replays, "now that is a rebound that Roloson will want to have back".

SHUT UP!
OH WON'T YOU SHUT UP!
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T SHUT UP!

A few years ago, the french CBC station had labor issues and workers went on strike. The only result of this that was relevant to me was the airing of the Canadiens games with absolutely no commentating. You could hear the iceskates of the players as they carved up the ice, players talking on the bench during play, the sound level of the fans slowly increasing as a play develops. If you try hard enough, you can hear this stuff during regular CBC games, but you have to try really hard; the commentators are trying their best to drown it all out.

The ratings for the commentator-less games went way up. I'm a regular reader of Sports Illustrated, the major american sports magazine, and they wrote about the increased ratings. At the time, I had faint hope that networks, or just Sportsnet, CBC and TSN, would dump all their commentators. Why not, it would save the networks money right? The dumped commentators could find jobs on the radio, where commentating is necessary. Alas, several years later, it doesn't seem likely.

Two Videos

Both are very entertaining in their own way.









I saw them both here:

Easy Money

Read this somewhere, can't remember where. Probably on someone else's blog. Lots of blogs out there.

The writer was walking through Oakridge Mall many years ago with their father. Ahead of them was one of those lottery ticket booths. At the booth, several people were holding tickets and watching the screens spit up random numbers, or waiting in line to have their tickets scanned. As they passed by the booth, the father turned to his offspring and said, "hey, I just won two bucks".

In BC's Future?

Washington state, along with other states, are setting a good example.

Click the pic.

Questions are raised though. "Smoking is now prohibited in all public places and all workplaces." Is it actually all public places, or is it all indoor public places? The headline says "expanded indoor smoking law", but it should be more clear throughout.

Especially because it says, and all workplaces. Clearly stated: "workplace" means any area which employees are required to pass through during the course of employment. Well then, what about park board employees? Their job requires passing through parks. Therefore, shouldn't the parks be smoke-free? There is a chance that parks are included, but I highly doubt it. I don't believe Initiative 901 would have been "overwhelmingly approved" if they are. I could be wrong, maybe I'm underestimating Washingtononians.

Park board employees are but one such example. There are others that, during the course of employment, pass through outside areas. Canada Post employees, landscapers, and dogwalkers are among them.

This is good:
"Is it true that there is no smoking 25 feet in front of any door or window?
Smoking is now restricted 25 feet from all doorways, windows and air intakes of any protected space mentioned above."

There have been so many times when I've exited a building and have had no choice but to walk through a thick cloud of smoke. Not only has my health been compromised but now I, and my clothes, smell as though I've been smoking.

Let's have a BC vote eh.